Patrick Christian Barbosa

                                          

                                           SON, HAVE YOURSELF THE GREATEST, GLORIOUS HOLIDAYS!
                                           AND BRING HEAVEN HOME... I SURE NEED THAT PEACEFULNESS,
                                           HAPPINESS, SAFETY... IN ALL I NEED MY FAITH BACK.
     
                 Good evening, my Angel

Yes, Christmas is on the way, and it suppose to be a time of joy... Jesus birthday, but you took my heart and I can't feel anything. Tell Jesus to forgive me because I can't help nor control my anger, feelings, loneliness. I am so confused, lost, and I am still waiting for this nightmare to go away so I can have my son back. When I go to the store because I have to, I feel so suffocated, sad, alone with full of envy seeing people shopping so joyfully when I feel confined in my own broken body. How did we get here, Son? The doctor said you would be fine... you are all right. What went wrong? You are now in Heaven, and me, I am  left in this earth so shattered with pain, anger, and disbelief. I don't get it. The only thing I can do now is pray and pray, and pray for my loving son to be  the most humble Angel and be in peace, safe and happy in your new place called Heaven, for you are  continuing your angelic duties in Heaven that you had left on earth.

I know you are watching over your brothers, but I still have keep saying it. Your mother is  too weak to do anything. Be our guardian Angel until we meet in Heaven one at the time when our time comes.

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH. Do you have any idea what I am going through every day, every moment of my miserable life? I can't get the concept of not seeing you in this earth anymore. It's so hard for me to imagine that horrible twilight zone. I need to have you in my dreams more often because that's my only moment with my son until I wake up and face my nightmare again. I am still waiting to feel your presence... to understand that you are with God, Jesus, and Blessed Mother and They are taking care of my Angel very well. I know They will but I have to really understand. For that, I really need my faith. Help me find it please. Tell God to help me keep your memories ALIVE. Help me help the world and you. SEE YOU AROUND, Patrick. I will not quit knocking at the door until I can feel that peacefulness, happiness, wholeness whether in here or in Heaven. It's God's call... I am just a lonely sinner, mother


                                             


    MAY YOUR BRIGHT LIGHT ALWAYS SHINE GLORIOUSLY, ETERNALLY, MY ANGEL.



                                                  

                                                   GOD, JESUS, BLESSED MOTHER, PLEASE, HELP ME
                                                   FIND MY WAY TO YOU AND  MY FAITH. YOU ALL KNOW
                                                   THAT I AM A VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON, BUT SINCE
                                                   YOU CALLED MY SON TO JOIN YOU AND YOUR ANGELS,
                                                    I AM JUST LIVING THROUGH THE MOTION OF MY SORROW,
                                                    ANGUISH ALONG MY BLINDLY JOURNEY OF GRIEF.
                                                    I AM NOT IN THIS JOURNEY BY CHOICE, SO PLEASE HELP
                                                    ME WALK THIS ROAD, HELP ME CARRY MY CROSS THAT
                                                   IS WAY TO HEAVY FOR MY FRAGILE BODY.
                                                    HELP ME LET GO OF THIS GUILT OF LOOSING MY SON.
                                                    HELP ME GET THROUGH THESE HOLIDAYS THAT ARE
                                                    SMOTHERING ME WHOLE.

                                                    GOD, WATCH OVER PATRICK'S BROTHERS OR BETTER YET
                                                     GIVE MY SON THAT HONORABLE JOB TO TAKE CARE OF
                                                      HIS BROTHERS, FOR AN ANGEL IS ALWAYS AN ANGEL...
                                                      THAT'S MY BELOVED SON, PATRICK. AMEN...
                                                      THANK YOU.  

                                           I LOVE YOU ALL!!! I MISS MY SON              

                                          


Good evening, my Angel

As always, I hope and pray with all my heart and love for my son to be at peace, safe, happy
eternally.  I miss my son so much it's driving me insane. I would like you to know that yesterday, I got in contact with your aunt/ God-mother, Nicole. If you can see your website, your God-mother did light a candle for you. I pray that all these candles reach you in Heaven safely and brighten your beautiful new home ETERNALLY. You tell God when I get there, I will ask Him why did He take my son instead of me. A mother should not bury her child... because it's the ultimate pain to endure. I am aching too much without my son. It's so wrong, unfair to you... to me.

I hope you can see your two Christmas tree I set in your bedroom and at the cemetery. Happy Holidays, Son.
 
                       I LOVE YOU, MISS YOU FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!!


 


            EACH MOMENT I MISS MY SON, I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE
            A LOVE Of A CHILD NEVER DIES...It ONLY GETS STRONGER WITH
             EVERY BREATH, EVERY THOUGHT, EVERY MOMENT THE ANGUISH
             DEEPENS, AND EVERY DROP OF MY SAD TEARS. 

                                          


           Hello, From Heaven, My Beloved Son

How are you, son? I hope and pray you were with us today, having a Thanksgiving meal with your family. Steve and his small family were with us celebrating a very quiet and sad Thanksgiving Day. We missed you so much here. Life will never be the same without you, especially for your mother.
You took a big chunk of my life with you in Heaven. I will just have to wait until we meet to get it back and reunite with my loving son ETERNALLY. In the meantime, you are very safe in my heart, mind, and soul FOREVER.

Monica stopped by the house and spent a few hours with us. I hope you are watching over her and protect her. Please be at Peace and have a very happy, safe and glorious  day and the days to come ETERNALLY. KEEP WATCHING OVER YOUR BROTHERS. THANK YOU, SON.

                                        
                                          

              
              YOU ARE LOVED, CHERISHED, REMEMBERED, AND MISSED FOREVER!!!

                                              
                                         
                                         
                                                 HAPPY GLORIOUS THANKSGIVING In HEAVEN, MY SON
                                                  I LOVE YOU... I MISS YOU ETERNALLY.
                                                  COME INTO MY DREAMS, MY LIFE AND MAKE ME
                                                  THE SAFEST, GLORIOUS MOTHER. I NEED YOU, SON.




                    I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH
                    MAY YOUR LIGHT SHINES ETERNALLY  
                                            
                    Hi, Patrick

How are you? I wish and pray you are all right, safe, and very happy in your new world, home.
Is it hard to adjust in Heaven? Does Heaven celebrate Thanksgiving? I am cooking for Thanksgiving even though it will be very hard to pretend I am living, but I have to keep the tradition on your name... your memories. I can't just stop having a Thanksgiving meal because you are not in this world any longer. It would not be fair for my son because you are always alive in my life, my heart, my mind, and soul... nothing has changed... and nothing will ever change... YOUR LIFE GOES On IN MY LIFE...MY WORLD FOREVER.

Steve, Alyana, and Tina will be spending Thanksgiving with us. I just came from Stop & Shop from shopping for Thursday meal. I got the Turkey and everything that goes with it. Please, Patrick, be close by and help me go through that day... and every other day until we meet. I got you your cranberry sauce, and I will leave a plate for you because this is your home too. You have now two homes, OK? I hope and pray you will be with us at the dinner table. Every Thanksgiving, you eat the whole can of cranberry sauce all by yourself.  I will miss my son, asking me for his cranberry sauce  on Thursday. Who will eat  your cranberry sauce this Holiday? I guess I will try to take a few bites in your memory even though I have never tried it. God, it's so wrong, unfair you are not here.

I just finished reading another book about after-life, Hello, From Heaven. I want so much to believe that you are always be around me... us. I know I will see you again in Heaven as  soon as God call me home, but I still want to feel your presence at all the times because I need you so much in my life... your brothers need you... your nieces and nephews... sister.... your father.

I will set a small Christmas tree in your room, so drop by any time your heart desires... it is still your bedroom. Patrick, please, don't ever leave home... your home... I need you very close by.

                     AGAIN HAVE A VERY SAFE, PEACEFUL, AND GLORIOUS THANKSGIVING DAY
                     IN HEAVEN IN FRONT Of GOD, JESUS, BLESSED MOTHER, AND ALL THE
                     SAINTS AND ANGELS... AND ALSO MY FATHER.

                      SEND MY WISHES OF HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO MICHAEL JACKSON AND
                       PATRICK SWAYZE.        
                                    
                                       I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU IMMENSELY!!!!

                                           

                                         
                                     

               Good Evening, my son.

 How are you? I pray you are very happy and at peace. I miss you so much. I just came from your brother Steve's birthday ceremony at his house. It was quiet, nice, but  very sad for me seeing all these young men having a good time. Please don't say that life goes on because that can't be for me. Leaving me has changed my whole world... life. My heart is numb.

  Please, Patrick, watch over your brothers especially Steve... he needs a guardian angel to watch over him constantly. This world is too cruel. People are never satisfied. I am sure you know what  I am talking about.  Talk to God, Jesus, Blessed Mother, the Saints, and all your angels mates to help you take care of your brothers. 

 I am sending you a big hug from your brothers. Next month, is Braelynn, Alyana, Desiree, and your father's birthday. I brought some chocolate cookies, your favorite cookies to Steve as a birthday present to him from his wonderful brother, Patrick . I hope and pray you were there too when we were cutting Steve's birthday cake. Patrick, we really need you around us every second of our life. Don't be too quiet to make us feel your presence because it's only way to communicate with us and still be part of the family. WE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FAMILY...I AM ALWAYS YOUR MOTHER. THIS IS ONE Of THE GREATEST GIFT GOD GAVE ME... My CHILDREN. 

Good night. I am going to do some reading before I turn in... whenever my body gets too tired to feel any pain and goes to sleep. Tomorrow will be four horrible months that you left me empty, alone, and so depressed. Walk me through this...


                                       

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ETERNALLY...    RECEIVE MY HUGS AND KISSES In HEAVEN.

PLEASE MENTION MY SON, PATRICK'S NAME
      IT SOOTHES MY BROKEN HEART
      IT HEALS MY SHATTERED SOUL
      IT BRIGHTENS MY DARK SHADOW

    PLEASE TALK ABOUT MY SON... HIS SWEET MEMORIES
    It LESSENS MY DEPRESSION
    It CLEARS MY DARK MOMENTS
    IT HELPS BRING MY FAITH BACK
    IT BRINGS JOY, SMILE, LAUGHTER INTO MY GLOOMY JOURNEY

    PLEASE WRITE ANY MEMORY YOU HAD WITH MY SON, PATRICK
    IT BRIGHTENS MY DAY
    IT LIFTS UP MY SPIRIT
    IT HASTENS MY HEALING

     THANK YOU... THANK YOU
     GOD BLESS YOU ALL

            A LOVE OD A CHILD IS AN UNBELIEVABLE FEELING OF JOY AND PROUD
           A LOST OF A CHILD IS AN UNBELIEVABLE AND UNBEARABLE FEELING OF PAIN AND AGONY

                                                               GISELE G BARBOSA
TO MY LOVING SON, PATRICK... I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH IT ACHES DEEP INTO MY SOUL.    
                      A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS TO MY GUARDIAN ANGEL... MY SON, PATRICK.

Hi, Patrick.

I have some great news for you. Frederick was accepted at Columbia University in New York.
I wish you were here to experience his joy, but I am sure you are celebrating his victory in Heaven with the other Angels. I am very happy for Frederick, unfortunately I can't enjoy it with him because my heart is so broken from loosing you and missing you. I grieve for my loss... my son every day. And every night I am haunted with so many thoughts of you. I want you back in my life and need you so much.  No one knows how much I am aching.

 I am sure you remembered your brother Steve's birthday on Wednesday. We will cut him a cake on Saturday. Again I wish you were here with us. I want so much to enjoy your brothers' company, but my pain and agony are greater than my willpower. I am so powerless... I miss you more than you can imagine. Please keep watching over your brothers and walk with me through my helpless journey. Help me keep your memories alive and come to me when my work is done. Until then, please keep visiting me in my dreams... there are my best and happiest moments. Help me feel your presence... help me heal.

 Give my love to Michael Jackson, My father, my Godfather, your grand-mother... everyone else you have met and made friends with. You sure know how to take care of your best friends. Steve and Ayo are very lucky to have you as their best friends. They had lost the greatest friend on earth. I am sure you will keep your special friendship from above and watch over them. I ran into Steve a lot at the Christmas tree  shop. Monica came by last night. It was very hard to talk to her because I was planning your future together in my mind. It so sad my hopes and dreams were cut so short in one second. You would had been a great couple. I would have to worry about your relationship. You two were the quietest couple I have ever known. You were surely a great match. Watch over her.

           YOU WILL FOREVER BE MISSED, REMEMBERED, AND LOVED!!!

Hi, Patrick.

First, I LOVE YOU. Second, I MISS YOU. Third, I NEED YOU in my Heart ETERNALLY. That being said, you know, and I know our bond would be stronger with each breath I take. You have no idea how much I miss my son... how powerless helpless I feel without you in my life, my world. I still can't believe you are gone to another home, but the pain still burns in my heart every minute I think of you... my wonderful son... my soul.

This evening, Steve and I went to another meeting at the Compassionate Friends. It  was very hard talking about my horrible loss, my angel. I still like to go to the meeting even though it hurts to be there or talk about my son who is physically far from me, but is very close to me spiritually and deep into my heart and soul. I brought with me a couple of grieving books as usual. I spend most of my time reading these books, writing my thoughts on your website, and 24/7 thinking about my loving, quiet son as I take each breath at the time to survive life... my lonely life.  Patrick, you had a heart of gold on Earth, and now Heaven would get to experience your beautiful GOLDEN HEART. Let me feel your presence FOREVER. BE SAFE, HAPPY, AND AT PEACE.

See you in my dreams. I LOVE YOU... I MISS YOU... I NEED YOU ETERNALLY. MAY YOUR LIGHT SHINES ETERNALLY. HUGS AND KISSES.

Dear Patrick,

Your mother recently made this website and It is hard to see that this site has to be on the fact that you past away; it shows how much of a great mother she really was and I love my aunt for being so strong lately. I want to let you know that I never forgotten you nor your family, we have been dealing with our own stress and going through life as an everyday person. I grew up with you just like my brother Cassy, your brothers Freddy, Kevin, Steve, and our cousins Alex and Devin. We had so many memories together growing up; remember how we used to all wrestle together and play "elementals"? You were called "Vape" and your powers were water. It's cool how Freddy created something that we all could share together, "Just us” as cousins. We used to play Yugio cards together when we was younger just hanging out together in your basement. That basement in your old home has so many memories to us; every time I'm at your house I always stop by downstairs and remember all the past experiences we had shared together. Remember during the summer when we were younger when we used to sleep over, we would wake up and run to the pool and go swimming and play together. Those were great times we have shared together, and I will truly miss those times we have spent together. I feeling of regret have hit me the week during you passed away; that regret was that we haven’t gotten to hung out lately and spend time together. Crying isn't really in me and I try not to, but I was truly torn when you pass so unexpected without anyone knowing. Now you moved up to your new home in heaven and now you watch your family and friends from a better view. Please look out for us and help guide us into better directions for the ones who are struggling in our families. MOST of all I know you are with your mother and watch her constantly, please give her strength and help fight this pain in heart she has still been experiencing. I don’t like seeing your mom sad at all; it makes me feel torned honestly; as well as my mother and grandmother. So give her that stength and guide her to her following life.  I LOVE YOU and wish to see you during after life cousin.

 

                                 Much LOVE, your cousin Jevany           

Thank you, Jevany. God bless you and keep you in the right path. Love, Patrick's mom... your Aunt.

 

                                         

 Good evening, my son.
 
I pray and hope you are very safe and at peace in Heaven. I hope
 you have met Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze, Your grand-parents, and also our beautiful dog, Onex. Please give them my love.

 My son, Patrick was named after our beloved actor, Patrick Swayze. I was very fond of him, his talent.  When I think of Michael Jackson, I think of him as a gift, a genuine human being God had sent us in this Earth even for a short time. Michael Jackson will always remain a great legend to all of us and generations to come FOREVER. Michael Jackson is also a momentous symbol between my son, Patrick and me that is engraved in my heart, mind, and soul FOREVER. I have always loved Michael Jackson, but the day he passed away, my son, Patrick and I shared a beautiful moment together watching his videos all day, night... three weeks later, I lost my son. From that moment on, when I think of my beautiful son, I think of Michael Jackson instantly. Every time I visit my son at the cemetery, I have to play Michael songs so my son and I can hear the beautiful songs and bond more deeply. I listen to his songs driving as I think about my  son, cry about my horrible loss, and long for his presence. I MISS YOU DEARLY, PATRICK.

                               PATRICK CHRISTIAN BARBOSA, MICHAEL JACKSON, AND PATRICK SWAYZE,
                               YOU ARE ALL FOREVER IN MY HEART, MIND, AND SOUL

                                 PLEASE BE SAFE, HAPPY, AND PEACE

                                                 LOVED, REMEMBERED, AND MISSED INTERNALLY!!!