Patrick Christian Barbosa

                                    

                                                    THIS IS THE ULTIMATE LOSS... PAIN FOR US




                           BE AT PEACE, MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL

          
 

A garden of roses and balloons  for my loving son, shall always surround your resting place. This is  one my gifts of hope, love, and prayer for you. You are faraway but always by my side and safe in my heart. Love and kisses, my angel of love and hope.

                                    
                                    

                                     
                                    

                                                   I AM CARRYING MY HEAVY BUT PRECIOUS CROSS

                                                    WITH ALL MY LOVE... ALL MY PAIN AND SAD TEARS

                                                    UNTIL I JOIN MY ANGEL INTO GOD KINGDOM

                                                   YOU ARE ETERNALLY LOVED, REMEMBERED, MISSED    


Hi, Patrick

 Today, is Wednesday, the day of the week, God called you home and left me helpless in this world. Monica has stopped by today to visit your mother and also you.  Please, keep watching over her. You can nag her to focus on her studies, just like, I used to bother you a lot. I only wanted the best of you and your brothers. Please, don't ever leave the brothers alone in this Earth. Watch over them... make them feel your presence that you will always be there for them. You are now the big brother and the guardian Angel. Right now I am only focusing of my great and unthinkable loss, and you will focus on your family. I used to be a multi-task mother, but today, I have lost that energy.

  It's a little cold today. I hope you are nice and warm in Heaven. You need to let me know how Heaven is. It should be a happy and peaceful place to be, but I still wanted you with me. I get frustrated not knowing how my son is... perhaps it will help your mother ease her worries about her son who left without a good-bye. I know I am complaining a lot, but what else can I? Seriously, tell me. I am still angry and very much in agony. I am not up in Heaven to know what is going with  my son, so you need to let me know... come into my dream... my life and let me know please. A mother and son relationship does not end when God calls one or the other... it will continue beyond life because, my dear son, LOVE NEVER DIES between a mother and her child or children. That's one of the greatest gift God, our creator, Has put in each mother's genuine heart. Our relationship, our love, will continue to blossom until we meet in Heaven and continue our eternal journey of a mother and son's love.
 Here is a beautiful flower of love, for a beautiful and wonderful son, from the bottom of my heart and every beat of my broken heart. Love you and miss you.

 


                                   

Good evening, my son

I just came from the "Compassionate Friends" meeting in Providence with Steve. This is the third meeting, and every time I go, I meet new parents who have their children. It's so sad to meet them, but I do feel comfortable going there because they understand the hell I am going through. No one tries to hurt my feelings because we are all walking the same sad road... the same unknown journey. Outside from the Compassionate Friends, the world is not so nice or understanding.

I brought with me two other books and a video about grieving. Reading these grieving books, is the same as going to the meetings... it's  a comforting atmosphere, surrounding... but a sad one. Tell Jesus that your mother said to never let go you... my beautiful son. Please Jesus, take care of my son... help me find peace in my heart with my Patrick so dearly cuddle in, until you come for me.  I love you, Patrick. I love you, Jesus, Blessed Mother and God. Forgive me for being angry, but I believe I have that right... that's a mother's love that God put it in my heart the day I found out I was pregnant with Patrick... Your gift to me, and today You took him away from me.  I am so sorry, but it's very hard for me to understand Your reason... I hope You understand my reason of being angry, frustrated.

JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU WITH MY SON.

                                


                                       YOU WERE AN EARTH ANGEL IN MY LIFE
                                        YOU ARE STILL AN ANGEL MORE POWERFUL...
                                         A SPIRITUAL ANGEL. HELP US DO THE RIGHT THING.
                                         WATCH OVER YOUR BROTHERS.
                                         THANK YOU, MY ANGEL... FOREVER IN MY HEART!!!     

Hi, Patrick

 Today, I heard some disturbing news about you from Steve. He got the call from the State.  I wish I did not trust the doctors and seek other opinion. Your main problem, was your headaches not your stomach. They misdiagnosed you and ignored your symptoms and complaints. Gosh, Patrick, tell me what to do now? I miss you so much. Be happy. Love forever.

 

 
                                    
 
                                         
I am sorry, Patrick, I could not visit you at the cemetery today.  I have been very busy with your website. Please show me the way to make your website the most memorable and nurturing site for me, you, and the visitors. Bless everyone who browses my other home... your home. Amen. I hope you don't think your mother is loosing it. I just miss you so much and longing for your presence, your angelic touch.

Please enjoy this TV. You look so cute.  I believe you remembered me taking this picture after two weeks nagging you to let me take you some pictures for my website. I did not have no skills with computer... I still don't. I know you did not like to take picture. Guess, what Patrick? I never got to post the pictures on my site, and here I am managing your website. I think you are helping me on this journey because I have no idea how I began to work on your site. Lots of frustrations, tears, and love help me this sad train of memories lanes. A website should not happen for our children... it's unfair... very wrong and painful.

Patrick, my poor son, you never got to fully enjoy your new DIGITAL TV you had just bought
 a month before God called you home and left wandering in aches in my lonesome journey.

BE HAPPY AND SAFE. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!

 

                                   

                                                           
                                                   MAY THE PEACEFULNESS IN HEAVEN ALWAYS
                                                   COMFORT YOU AND BRING YOU ETERNAL JOY. AMEN.

Hello, Patrick

I hope and pray that God's Angels, Jesus, and Blessed Mother are taking care of my son very well. As you already knew, I have been ordering a lot of Michael Jackson DVD and CD. I received two of the same CD, "Dangerous." I asked Steve if he wanted one of the CD; he said that he already have the songs. I decided to return the extra CD, but in the morning, I thought about Alyana, so I gave her the CD. I heard she loves the songs. I told Alyana to take a good care of this CD because I gave it to her on her uncle Patrick's honor. Your niece promised me she would. I am sure you will listen the songs with Alyana... she can also join the bondage between you and me and Michael Jackson.

Patrick, my life seems so unbearable now and full of guilt, regret and longing for my son. I wish I could turn the time back, so I could start those 24 hours of life differently. I don't know what could I have done differently because I am still not a doctor or God... but I could trade my life for your life without thinking. I am helpless in this world now... lost. Please forgive me for my thoughts... right now that's all I have left in me. My whole body is numb. This what you have done to your mother when you left me without even a goodbye or a warning. I know you wanted to live... I am sorry. I am ready whenever you and God come for me. I wanted to accomplish my dream to help the world... but I am still ready for that next life.

Take care of my angel. You are always loved, remembered, and never forgotten! PEACE BE WITH YOU ALWAYS! PEACE TO THE KINGDOM OF GOD, EVERYONE In HEAVEN!

 
                                            

Good evening, Patrick
 
How are you? I hope you are resting peacefully and happily with God who took you away from me... from your family in the middle of the fruits of your life. God must have a great reason to snatch you away from your mother who is yearning for your presence. Now God, has to show me a way to go on with my miserable and achy  life without my loving son. Oh God, please, You need to overlook my anger, my complaints, and help me heal. I don't know what else to say or think. My broken heart is the lead of my selfish and angry thoughts or speech. I am sure, Blessed Mother knows what I am going through now... my agony, my loss.  The worst nightmare of a mother, is loosing a child. I never thought I would see that day coming... life is short, and destiny is surely uncertain. Please Jesus, forgive me for my tantrums, my frustrations because I can't keep them inside my heart... remember, this poor heart is already too broken, to hold in my frustration or anger.

 Patrick, lately, I have been busy reminiscing my precious moment with you and Michael Jackson. Today, again, I watched another DVD concert of Michael Jackson that I just received. After, I came back from visiting you, I watched the entire video. I am still hoping you are always by my side when I am watching Michael Jackson or when I am going through my fazes of tormented moments  without you in my life... which are every moment I think of you, imagine that you are near me, or our life together. I just ordered some posters and picture of Michael Jackson to put in your bedroom. Please feel free to visit your bedroom anytime you want. No one has to ask who's room is it, because it is blooming with your sweet memories... the whole house actually is. Don't worry, my son, your mother will make sure your memories and life will always be alive in my heart, your family's hearts and beyond... See you tomorrow at your resting place, in my dream, or your dreamland. May your light brighten eternally around the Doves and Angel of God's heavenly kingdom... and hopefully one day, my light will brighten as well, and the darkness in my gloomy life will fade away but not you in my heart, my soul, my life. Patrick, you are dearly loved and remembered forever in my mind, heart, and soul. Keep watching over your dear brothers. Thanks, my love. Hug and kisses from here and above. You are my Dove, my sweet angel.

                                          

Good  morning, my son

First, I love you and miss you so much. I hope you can hear me or see me as people have been telling me. I see your image every time I think of you... every breath I take. I see you standing in front of my bedroom door asking for something or talking to me. I pray every day and night to see you just once... more time. I am aching so much for loosing my son, and I am longing for your presence so bad. I am sorry but I am going to tell you that I  can't see myself going to visit you on raining days or snowing days because it hurts too much to imagine my loving son under ground while the rain or snow is upon him. I know we are all dust and dust we will return, but your mother did not want to see that day coming. I wanted my children to bury me.

I also know I am not the only parent who has been through these horrible, unthinkable, crucifying moments, but I have to speak for myself, my torture, my pain... this cross that I am carrying so heavy on my shoulder, my heart, my soul... it's so... hard. God, I am so hurt and feel alone. Rest in peace, Patrick, with the  Angels... I am sure you are getting alone very well with your new  friends. That was never a problem for you on Earth. Take care of your brothers. They need their guardian Angel. I love you and miss you. Jesus, please be close by my wonderful, Patrick. I love you both... and Blessed Mother and God. Please help me carry my cross. Thank you. Amen.

                                       JESUS, I TRUST YOU

                                          

Dear Patrick's mom,

I just read Patrick's life story,I could not stop crying. I am so sorry he was a handsome boy. I can see from his pictures,he was a nice and loving son,i know how hard it is,please take care your self,i know that God is watching over you and your family,and and i know for sure that Patrick is watching over you too,he is an angel,now he is helping God in heaven with His heaven's work,i know that you all are missing Patrick,but the only way is God,faith on Him will help go on,i miss my precious daughter Isabella,everyday and I will for the rest of my days,sometimes i can't even see her pictures,someday i can.You all are in my thoughts and prayers for now and forever,God is taking care of Patrick he is an angel,he is free,and he doesn't want to see you sad,i know its hard,the anger inside of our hearts,but know that someday you will see Patrick again in heaven.

Take Care

 

God bless you all.

Clores Mother of an angel ^I^ Isabella Abreu Carvalho^I^

                                            


Hi, Patrick

I just got home from visiting my grand-mother in Pawtucket. She is really not doing well. Her face is all swollen. She slept the whole time I was there. Keep an eye on her... she needs an angel by her side. All right, good night. I love you.