Patrick Christian Barbosa

                                          

 Hi, Patrick.

 It's Mom, again. I am going to visit my grand-mother at the nursing home... she is not doing too well. Watch over her please. I am going to watch Michael Jackson DVD before I leave. I hope you will be watching it with me. I will you see later on at the cemetery. It breaks my heart to go there, but I feel now it's my second home because of you... until it happens for real, when you and God come for me. For someone who was petrified of a sight of any cemetery, never mind visiting it, it's a big turn around. It's crazy to say it, but I feel safe, not afraid when I am at the cemetery with you. I still feel deprived, pained for knowing my poor son is under ground. But what else can I do, but praying for strength to accept my fate and be with my son. I know your spirit and soul are alive and well and guarding your family.
 I will keep putting Michael Jackson songs every time I visit you. I promise. I pray that you and Michael are together in heaven, and you are both enjoying your moment, as we did when you were alive. Yesterday, I ordered some more DVD of Michael Jackson and a book, " Moonwalk." I believe it is about his life, his legend. I also pre-0rdered this last DVD movie, "THIS IS IT." He will always be a special bond between you and me. I love you and miss you... I also love Michael and miss him. Here is a picture of him... I want Michael to  be a part of this beautiful and memorable website... this is another bond for a mother and her wonderful, loving son... your website. For me, it feels real nice to communicate with my son... a beautiful daydream, fantasy gift for the both of us.

                                         

                                         
                                             


                                           

Hi, Patrick.

 I just type the password in your computer for Frederick to play the World WarCraft. I hope he is playing on your honor. I don't know who is more addicted to the game, you or Freddy. I don't let him play as much as he wants to, which would be  almost around the clock. I just don't want your computer to break because I would be very hurt and devastated if it happens. So I try to limit the quantity of his time on your computer. I don't mind Freddy to spend some few quality time playing your favorite game because in my mind you would be playing. I am still hoping you are sitting by his side when Freddy is playing World WarCraft. In the meantime, enjoy the picture whenever someone is browsing your website. Rest in peace and be joyful. Love and kisses. Mom.

                
                                                                 

                        ACCEPTANCE PRAYER
   
  My Jesus, I  ask You with all my heart for Your love. Only Your love will help me to accept my sufferings and  carry my cross in such a way that I may be Your true follower.
 O Lord Jesus, graciously accept the sacrifice of my sufferings for the temporal and eternal salvation of myself and my loved ones.
 Jesus, my dearest Lord and God, my Teacher and my Redeemer, have mercy on me Most Holy Spirit, be my Consoler.   Amen. 
                                                    
                                                       ST> JOHN NEUMANN

                                           


                                  MY HEARTACHE GETS INTENSE BY THE MOMENT
                                  BUT, I TRUST IN GOD, JESUS, AND BLESSED MOTHER
                                  TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND, HEAL, AND FIND A LITTLE  PEACE
                                   AS I HOLD YOU SAFELY IN MY HEART.

                                         A PRAYER OF FAITH

 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you.       PETER 5:6-7
 


God, give me the faith to believe that my son is happy and in peace in heaven. The hope and wisdom to understand my great loss and accept it. The patience to accept my fate. Please embrace my son, Patrick tightly in Your arms and keep my son under Your Holy Wings for eternal. Amen.

                                          
                                           

                                                DEVINE MERCY

 I fly to Your mercy, Compassionate God, who alone are good. Although my misery is great and my offenses are many, I trust in Your mercy because You are the God of mercy and it has never been heard of in all ages, nor do heaven or  earth remember, that a soul trusting in Your mercy has been disappointed.

  O God of compassion, You alone can justify me and You will never reject me when I, contrite, approach Your Merciful Heart, where no one has ever been refused, even if he were the greatest sinner. For Your son assured me: "Sooner would heaven and earth turn into nothingness than My mercy fail to embrace a trusting soul,"
 
                                                   JESUS I TRUST IN YOU                                

Patrick, The Devine Mercy will keep you happy and in peace. I love you.                     

                                          



                                         

Hi, Son

 I am back again. I  want to send you from my computer to your new home. I know it was not by choice to you left your home of almost twenty-one years. From what I heard from Monica, you tried so hard to get better that July 14, at the doctor office. You asked to your primary doctor, "what the best thing to do" The doctor just ignored your well-being and his duties as a doctor... he gave you a choice instead of helping you. The ER doctor didn't help you either. God, I am so angry and feel so guilty about this whole fated medical negligence. I just can't  stop thinking about this whole nightmare. Sometimes, I wish I would open my eyes and you will be right in front of me and tell me the nightmare is over..." I am back home where I belong with my mother, my father, and my brothers." It tortures me when I think that death happens only once with no return. When life is gone... it's really over.

Gosh, I did not finish telling you why I was back on your website... I got sidetrack by my anguish and poured my heart out again as usual.  Anyhow, here is a rose for today well spent time with you and Michael Jackson. Be happy so I can be. Love, Mom.

                                          



                                          

Hello, my Son

Patrick, this morning, it was reminiscence time about a memorable moment I had with my son the day Michael Jackson passed away. Remember, you and I, were watching Michael videos all day and night. And this morning, I found myself out of the blue wanting to watch Michael DVD's... all four of them I bought three months ago. I never got the chance to watch the videos because I had received them by mail the same week God called you home. I can't never forget that memorable moment with my son, but little did I know it was actually a farewell moment I was anticipating and participating. It was a cruel stunt on Mother Nature part, isn't it? Don't get me wrong, I am not afraid of dying... it just never cross my mind I would bury my own child. It's unfair to me and you.

Anyway, this morning was a nice and sad day for me while watching the videos and remembering my great loss. I hope you were watching the videos with me and remembering our moment. But I am still grateful to share that memorable moment with my son, even though it was a cruel joke on me. You really have taught me a great lesson about life, fate, and destiny. Life is surely too short for us, mortal sinners. So we need to really focus on the golden rule, " Do unto others as you would have them to unto you." I kind screw on that one up with Celine... I kind hurt her feeling unknowingly. I guess I need to think before opening my mouth. It was just an impulsive reaction that came out before my mind got the rule. Well, I did opologize. I know I am a good person, but I need you by my side to turn me into a greatest person. Deal! We all have our minuses and pluses flaws we can't help sometimes.

 Patrick, I am so lost without you in my life, and I don't know what to do with my loneliness and emptiness. I just hope I don't loose it. Help me take care of myself. I would like to go to heaven sane but not crazy. I miss you and love you.

         

                                          


                                           

     "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son,
                That whoever  believes in Him shall not perish but have                               eternal life."   John 3:16 (NIV)                                                        




Patrick, your mother also has lost a great son. I know God will take care of you in heaven... but I still wanted you with me because I miss you so much in my life. I wish and pray that God give me the faith to accept my great lost, and the wisdom to understand it. I also pray for God Divine guidance to give  hope to cope with my pain without my son in my life... it's very hard for me to endure these sufferings. I need your help and our Holy Father's Hands over me.
But, Patrick, rest assure that your memories and my love for you will always nurture my broken heart, my soul. May this bright light always shine upon you in your eternal rest in heaven, and give you eternal joy and peace. See you around. Love, Mom.       

                                        
                                                                                                
                                                       THE ULTIMATE PAIN IS A LOSS OF A CHILD
                                                        I AM VERY SORRY BLESSED MOTHER FOR YOUR
                                                        GREAT LOSS.
                                                        I UNDERSTAND YOUR AGONY... LOSS
                                                        FOR I AM WEARING YOUR  PAINFUL SHOES
                                                        AND WALKING YOUR UNTHINKABLE JOURNEY
                                                        WITH MY ACHING FEET... MY BROKEN HEART, SOUL
                                                         MY SHATTERED LIFE.
                                                         BUT THIS A GIFT FROM GOD WE MOTHER HAVE BEAR
                                                         AND EMBRACE HAPPILY AND PAINFULLY ETERNALLY

                                                          PLEASE, MOTHER OF SORROW, SHOW ME THE WAY
                                                          AND KEEP MY SON, PATRICK SAFE
                                                          FOR I CAN NOT DOING FROM HERE UNTIL I JOIN HIM
                                                         IN HEAVEN WITH ALL OF YOU... BEAUTIFUL, CARING,
                                                         WARM SOUL...
                                                         I CAN ONLY KEEP HIM SAFE IN MY HEART FROM HERE
                                                         ETERNALLY.


                                                            I LOVE YOU ALL!

                                               PIETA

              Mother of Sorrow, You who held Jesus in your  arms                                  Please intercede with your Divine Son in our behalf.                              Ask Him to help us to know one another better, to                                   forgive one another more readily, to love one another                            more deeply. Mother of all mankind inspire us to                                 travel without falter along the road at the end of which, under the Fatherhood of God, there is true peace.                                                          
                                                                                            Amen.                                                                                                                          

 Patrick, may your mother find peace and healing from her loss. I love you. Rest in peace with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit! Amen.

                                      
                                           



                                           

                                                          I MISS MY SON TREMENDOUSLY                                              

                                                  THE LORD"s PRAYER

    Our Father, Who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom      come; Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever.                                                                                              Amen.


     Patrick, my son, you have joined me in my Holy Home with my First Son, Your Jesus. The Holy Spirit will always be with you. Rest in peace. I love you.