Patrick Christian Barbosa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtEzKzG3sqI

                      

  HAVE A GLORIOUS ST. PATRICK'S DAY IN HEAVEN MY SON

         Hello Patrick,

Today is St. Patrick's Day... your day, and I pray God, Jesus, Blessed Mother, the Holy Spirit and all God's Angels and Saints are celebrating this special Day with you. I just came home from visiting you, and I also pray and hope you were there with me. I took Freddy with me today. I pray you are always at the cemetery when I visit you. I know they say just your body is there, but it is very important for me to be there. Do you see anybody visiting you beside your mom... I know Steve visit you every Sunday after Mass... Kevin also goes there sometimes and also your father. Have you seen any of your friends there? Sometimes I wonder how quick people's life goes on when one is gone to God. They tend to forget so easily. But don't worry my precious son, with God's grace I will keep your memories alive and vibrant in this world, in my life and beyond... that's my focus in this life. I miss you Patrick so much... it still does not seem real... but only the pain that lies in the depth of my shattered soul... the pit in my heart. 

Yesterday I got to listen the audio tape of Lisa William from the show I went back in November. I want to believe so bad that every thing she said to me came from you... only you. Are you really friends with Billy... my friend JoAnn's son? If Lisa is really with the truth, then please help me win her free reading... help me have more information, news about my son whom I love more than my life and miss more than I can understand.

These few months coming there are so many events happening in this family: Steve and Kevin will make their confirmation on April 23rd... Easter Vigil, Alyana is having her first communion on April 30th... there is Steve and Tina wedding shower on August and their wedding on November 5th. Please help me get through all these events. I know I have to there for my children and my grand children, but it is hard to accept my grief and trying to enjoy my family. I don't know what to do and no one understand what am I going through. Please HELP ME!!! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH! PEACE AND LOVE, MOM

WISHING MY PRECIOUS SON/ ANGEL A BLESSED, GLORIOUS, AND HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! 

                                




Good Evening, My Precious Son,

 First, I miss you Patrick. Second, I hope you like your new St. Patrick flowers I brought yesterday. Tina made them for us. Third, I went to Ashes Wednesday Mass... it was a very sad moment the whole time sitting at the pew and remembering your funeral Mass. I don't know why it came over me suddlenly and I could not stop myself from feeling sad and crying. The whole ceremony was about Jesus and you and my pain. At the end of the Mass Steve and his little family came to me where I was lighting a candle for you as usual after every Mass. I pray all the candles lit in your loving memory keep your beautiful spirit gloriously happy, safe, and at peace. Amen.

 Patrick, I know I have to take one moment at the time walking through this journey I can't seem to accept it or understand it. It ache so much to lose you but I pray and hope you are not really gone... you have never left me... you are still with me helping me carry my cross. The season of Lent is about Jesus suffering for us so he can save us a place in God's Kingdom when we get home one by one... but did you have to go so soon. God help me understand  my loss, my pain! At the same time Lent makes me feel that it is also about losing your child to God... returning your gift of love to God... and it hurts so deep! Why Patrick? Why God? Why Jesus? If we are just returning Home! I feel so lonesome, empty without my Patrick. God help me feel your Love, your Comfort, your nearness, so I can faithfully carry my cross. I am too weak and so sorrowful to accept my loss, my pain. During the season of Lent God, Jesus, Blessed, and the Holy Spirit please help me see, feel the truth... show me the way please and always keep my son Patrick by my side. 

Patrick may you never feel this loneliness, sadness, emptiness in Heaven as I am feeling it on earth because of me... I just can't help or control my feeling. It HURTS TOO MUCHHH!!!

I LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU. I NEED YOU SO MUCH IN MY LIFE.

HAVE A VERY BLESSED, PEACEFUL, AND GLORIOUS ASH WEDNESDAY AND ALSO DURING THE SEASON OF LENT... AND ALONG YOUR HEAVENLY JOURNEY. PEACE AND LOVE, MOM

                          

 

Hi Patrick

                                  

                                  FOREVER IN MY HEART SON

               

                 FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS GRANDMA

 

Today marks one year My grand Ma Benvinda Monteiro went to God... joined my precious son Patrick. I lost my grandMa three months after I lost my son Patrick Christian. My grandmother never knew I lost my son Patrick because she was very sick at the nursing... almost not aware of her surrounding. Thursday January 21, 2010, I went to visit my grandmother at the nursing home until late at night. My sister Nathalie and I got her ready for the night with the bathing and getting her comfortable. I took a couple of pictures of her frail body. Five hours after I left the nursing home, my grandmother passed away.

The night I lost my grandmother I was still too broken from losing my son Patrick three months earlier. I cried so much for my pain, my agony, my horrible loss until I felt asleep as usually since I lost Patrick... my nightly dread to keep myself falling asleep still followed me to this day. I sleep with the light on, with a book, my pain, and tears until my eyes finally shut down to rest my tiredly body. Anyway that night I lost my grandmother, I had a vivid dream... a visitation from my grandmother. I was sleeping and suddenly I felt the  presence of my grandmother. I sat up, looked at her and asked her " What are you doing here GrandMa?" Sobbing, I asked her again, " Where is my son? She answered me while touching her left chest, " Patrick! Patrick is right here!" (I have four sons: Steve, Frederick, Patrick, and Kevin. I never mentioned any name,  nevetheless my grandmother knew exactly which son I was referring to.)  For a moment my grandmother was consoling me when suddenly I could see a silhouette in the middle of my bedroom, and brusquely my grand mother said, " Ok, it is time for me to leave." She wiggled herself off my bed and walked slowly toward that silhouette; and then they both walked away and disappeared before reaching my bedroom door as I watched them. My grand mother was wearing a kind of silver- beige dress with her hair tied back in a pony tail. The next day at the wake, my grandmother had the same outfit, with the same hair style as in my dream. My Aunt Elizabeth had mentioned few months before my grandma passed away that she already bought the mortal dress.... a pink outfit, but at the last minute before the funera,l her daughter Vivi bought another outfit for my grandmother.... the same outfit she had when she visited me in my dreams. I was in shock when I saw my grandmother in her casket looking exactly the same way she looked in my dreams a day before.

I asked my Aunt Elizabeth about the pink outfit that was picked for her mother's funeral.  And this was her answer, " Oh, Vivi decided to buy another dress for my mom for the funeral." The point I am trying to make, is my grand mother was definitely greeted in Heaven by my son Patrick, and that night she came to me let me know she met my son Patrick  at the gate of Heaven and also to comfort me for my great loss, my great pain from a mother to a mother. AND LIFE CONTINUES! DEATH IS JUST ANOTHER TRANSITION TO THE NEXT LIFE... OUR ETERNAL HOME FOR ALL OF US ONE BY ONE  WHEN THE TIME COMES.

Thank you GrandMa for your undying support, compassion, hope, and faith to help me through my journey. I am still lost, sad, empty about loosing my son Patrick. But I know you are taking care of my son Patrick until I join you all in Heaven and take over my motherly duties. I know you are very happy now in Heaven with no more pain, suffering... you had lived your life fully till the age of 93. But my son Patrick was just 20 years old... I don't understand it!!! Please come back in my dreams and give me the heads-up about my son Patrick. I miss him so much. I need my son so bad in my life. HAPPY ANGEL DAY GRANDMA! LOVE, your grand daughter GISELE... LostMom to Patrick Barbosa. MAY THE  HOLY SPIRIT GUIDE YOU INTO  EVERLASTING LIGHT ALONG YOUR HEAVENLY JOURNEY WITH MY SON PATRICK RIGHT BESIDE YOU. AMEN.

                   

      

                   HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 PRECIOUS  SON

 

 

Good morning Patrick,

Today is my grandmother's birthday. I pray you are together in Heaven and you are celebrating her big day with all our loved ones. Another year just begins without you in my life. It is so hard to believe you are not here with us. It is so hard to accept or understand my horrible journey. I pray you are close to me and leading me away because I am so empty, confused. Please come visit me in my dreams, for I  desperately need my son in my life. May this New Year brings you closer to God's ineternal life, love, peace, and glory and closer to my life. Amen. May your light burn high and bright along your heavenly journey. Please watch over your brothers, your nieces and nephews. Help your brothers stay close together in harmony, love, respect, and also keep them close to you.

I LOVE YOU SON. I MISS YOU PATRICK. I NEED YOU MY ANGEL.

HAVE A BLESSED, GLORIOUS, PEACEFUL, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LOVE, MOM.

                                                         

 

 Good evening Precious Son,

Patrick, another blue Christmas is almost over. I picked up Patricia and her daughters Monique and Angelique to spend the day with us. We had a quiet dinner. I don't care for any holiday anymore. My life is too empty to enjoy anything or  go anywhere that spelled" celebration."  Steve, Kevin, Frederick and everyone else went to Titina's house to celebrate Christmas. I just dropped Monique and Angelique at Titina's house before I dropped their mom home. I feel so sad when I hear anyone is going on with life in full motion and enjoying it when mine is still. Is it wrong to envy someone's else joy, happiness? I really can't help myself having these emotions. My life has changed so cruelly and there is not a thing I can to do make it go away.

 I really wish you were here with me. In the emergency room that July 14, 2009, I was standing at the foot of the stretcher while the physician assistant was busy assessing you and giving us hope that you will be fine, but little did I know it will be the last day I will see you alive. An endless thoughts of questions, guilt keep replaying in my mind since I lost you, and hundred times I come up empty with no answers, but only a deeper hole in my soul and a more wounded, broken heart. When would I get my answers to what happen to you that day from the doctor office to the ER? Why such carelessness! I don't get it!!! GOD HELP ME PLEASE!!! I AM SO BROKEN!!! I MISS MY SON PATRICK SO IMMENSELY!!!

Patrick if you are really close to me; then you will know about the letter of Christmas I wrote to your niece Alyana on your behalf. I pray everything I said in your letter comes true. I pray you will visit Alyana in her dreams and ask her what's she thinks about the letter. I also pray you drop in my dreams and give me the heads-up about Heaven. I am really confused with all these craziness about life on earth and  life in Heaven. I know one thing, that I miss my son so much and I don't understand these journeys we were thrown at needlessly, unfairly, unexpectedly. Mason Patrick is getting big so fast. I hope he is really your sweet gift to us. I pray Mason Patrick brings the true love, harmony, and joy this family desperatly need. I am tired, so I will try to get some rest. Please visit me in my dreams, I really need my son, and sometimes if you can't come down a lot, just come at least once a month. I know I am asking a lot from you, but I only miss my son. I believe we bereaved parents deserve that grace, that gift of love from our children knowing they are not physically here on earth. God, Jesus, and Blessed Mother please grant us that wish... have mercy on this poor, lost soul and grant me my wish. Amen.

MAY YOUR LIGHT BURN HIGH AND BRIGHT ALONG YOUR HEAVENLY JOURNEY WITH GOD, JESUS, AND BLESSED MOTHER. AMEN. MERRY CHRISTMAS SON... MY PRECIOUS ANGEL. GOOD NIGHT SWEET ANGEL.

I LOVE YOU SON. I MISS YOU PATRICK. I NEED YOU MY ANGEL.

 ALWAYS LOVED AND MISSED, MOM

 

                              

 

 

 

Hi Patrick,

Yesterday was the world wide Candle Lighting for all the children who left us so soon behind to walk a torturous journey. Oh, I miss my son so much. How, I need my Angel so dearly to guide me along my empty journey. It was a sad moment to see all of the children's pictures on the display on the table and also on the slideshow. Yesterday was my Christmas because it is so hard to be among people who are enjoying celebrating Christmas when I feel so alone with my broken heart.

 

I hope you were there yesterday with us at the Candle Lighting. Steve, Kevin, Tina, Alyana, Mason Patrick, Jen, Jevany, Monique, and Angelique were with me honoring your precious life and memories. You are missed in our life. I pray your friends and the family will allways keep you in their hearts and on their minds.

Take care of yourself my precious son... sweet Angel. Please stay close to me. Please watch over your brothers.  

 

                             

 

   Precious Son.

 Thanksgiving has just passed, which was very hard for me, but now Christmas is approaching very fast, and I am not ready for another holiday. Please stay close to me and help me ease the pain, the anxiety, my heartfelt burdens that are squeezing me tigher and tigher in my broken heart as the holidays get closer and closer. I pray God answer my prayers and grant me  my undying wish I have been longing so much and for so long.

I am almost done decorating your place for Christmas. I hope you like it. Jo-Ann has been helping me a lot with the decorating and also her husband Norbert... they great friends and the best helpers. I should not have to decorate your grave sit if those incompetent so-called doctors respected your lif and, their vows as doctors. But Patrick, what else can I do for you now, but treasure your life and precious memories?

 I am sending my love to my grand-mother, my father Gabriel, my God-father John, my brothers and sisters: Philipp and Philisbert, Antoine and Antoinette, and Rosalie, my aunt Aurora, Nicholas, John Edouard and his son Alain, my uncle Ivo, your grand-mother Domingas, Billy GrandChamp and his grand-mother Barbara, and all the Angels from Last Memories. I pray you have met all of them and you are having great time with everyone else in Heaven.

Please Patrick watch over your brothers, your nieces, and nephews.

Alyana misses you a lot. I hope you will drop by once inwhile in her dreams and ease her pain. I pray Mason Patrick bring all your great qualities, and also you will help him bring the family closer and stronger seeing Mason Patrick is a blessed gift from you.

I am going to Wal-Mart to get you a Christmas tree as I finish your Christmas decoration at your place. I tried to take some pictures with my new phone with no luck. This cell phone is much too technical for your poor mother. Perhaps you need to help me learn this new phone because your brothers Steve, Kevin, and Frederick are too busy to teach me with no patience for their mother.

I better leave before it gets too late to go especially I have to work tomorrow.

As always precious Son  I love you very much. I miss you so immensely. I need you so dearly in my life and in my dreams. Please stay very close to your poor Mom who misses you deeply.

Sweet dreams and Glorious night in Heaven!

LOVE, MOM

                             

         HAPPY THANKSGIVING PRECIOUS SON

                                               

                            

         Hi Patrick,

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day... a day where most of the people will be happy to celebrate the day, unfortunately for your mother Thanksgiving Day or any holiday is just another sad day along my path. Life is getting worse and harder as the moments without you sadly passed by. It is very hard for me to cook  during the holidays, but I will try my best to continue the tradition of cooking in your loving memory. This emptiness in my life is piercing my broken heart, my shattered soul deeper and deeper with no will to do anything but pray to God for forgiveness for my achy feelings and sad thoughts.  What else can I do Patrick? You took my life away when God called you home... I am just existing with each torturous moment, day, thought, and feelings without you in my life.

 I pray you are right by side conforting me when I have nowhere else to go or no one else to lean on. I will bring you at the cemetery your can of cranberry sauce, and I hope it bring you smile on your face and a bright light upon your beautiful soul. Frederick is here for the holiday. I pray you can bring your brothers together in harmony with a very special brotherly bond and love. Steve and Kevin are very close but it hurts me when Frederick still feel a stranger with Steve and Kevin. I need all four of my sons close together in heart and mind and ease my sadness a little and strengthen my hope that there is peace for me outhere to reach for. Alyana, Braelynne, and Mason Patrick are growing so fast. I pray and wish they will be very close to their uncle Patrick even when you are not physically present with us but hopefull you are very close to us spiritually until we meet you one by one in God's kingdom when our turn come to go home. For myself I am looking forward to see my son again whom I miss so much and love more than my life.  Please drop by in my dreams, for I miss you immensely. Stay close. Love and peace, Mom.