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WARM POEMS

                             

              I LOVE YOU PATRICK. I MISS YOU SON. I NEED

                               MY GUARDIAN  ANGEL

 

                                                                                                  

           
                                         
                              
                                                           My son, Patrick


 Just the thought in knowing my loss is real, aches
 Just the thought in knowing I have only your memories to continue my lonesome journey, tortures me.
Just the thought of the dusk coming down, distresses me.
Since your passing, darkness means another night without you.

Just the thought of leaving you behind at the cemetery and driving home alone, agonizes me.
A mother should never bury her child.
Just the thought of coming home from the cemetery and seeing your red car in the driveway, and you are not home, frightens me.

But, your pictures that are in every corner of the house, on my necklace, my key chain, in my car, and this unique picture of you that I carry with me and sleep with it, remind me that you are alive and safe in my heart.
Because Mom, will always keep you and your memories alive, until you and God come for me.

Just the thought in knowing you are an angel in Heaven, soothes me.
Perhaps one great thought will overcome all the bad ones.
With God grace, I will continue my journey of grief with hope.

With you by my side, in my dreams, I will continue to pray for peace and healing.
But only, if I can feel you are happy and at peace.
With God, Jesus, and Blessed Mother guarding my Patrick in Heaven, duskiness in my heart will fade.
Because you know I love you so much, and I know I miss you more than I can understand.

                                                                                            GISELE G BARBOSA

Dedicated to my son, Patrick


                                              

                                      
                                                    

                                             MY SHATTERED LIFE


Where does a mother go when her loss is greater than life
Where does a mother go when her agony is more than she can handle
What a mother can do when her painful memories, images of her loss, are her worst shadows
What a mother can do when her tearful face is her saddest reflection

What a mother should do when life's insensitivity and unfairness is choking her
How a broken- hearted mother can carry her cross, her burden
How a mother can live with this unbearable, unthinkable loss
How can I get through this torturous, helpless journey
You tell me, Son... God, You make me understand my inconsolable, lonely world
Because I miss my son so dearly... I am all broken in pieces from severe depression, anguish
I am a Martyr of a horrid loss of my beloved son, Patrick... a price of  being a mother.


                                                                                       GISELE G BARBOSA


To my Loving Son Patrick


                                
                                      
 

                               

                            

  OVER THE RAINBOW A BUTTERFLY IS FLYING... MY ANGEL PATRICK CONTINUES HIS LIFE WITH GOD

                 


                               
                                         LOVE NEVER CEASES BUT GROWS DEEPER FOREVER
           
                     
                                                      
                             


                         
  
                       

                                                                      


 VISITORS WELCOME TO "WARM POEMS" PAGE!

         PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ANY POEMS OF YOUR DESIRES.
                 THANK YOU FOR VISITING MY WEBSITE.

                                         LOVE AND PEACE, ANGEL PATRICK.

                                    
 

MOM LOVES YOU VERY MUCH March 30, 2011
 
MAY JESUS BLESS YOU WITH HIS LOVE
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MOM MISSES YOU DEEPLY March 30, 2011
 
MAY JESUS BLESS YOU WITH HIS LOVE
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MOM MISSES YOU DEEPLY March 30, 2011
 
MAY YOUR LIGHT BURN ETERNALLY BRIGHT
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MOM TREASURES YOUR MEMORIES March 16, 2011
 
MAY GOD EMBRACE YOU WITH ETERNAL LIFE
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                      Now that your life knows every
               darkness and sorrow,
               Now that your time trembles with
               mourning and pain,
               now that your eyes see only
               empty horizons,
               now that your hand touches
                the center of grief:

              Leave yourself open to comfort and caring,
              leave youeself open to softness and
               friendship,
               leave yourself open to knidness and blessing.
                And try to listen for the still music of hope.

                                                    ~Sascha Wagner   

                         The name of your dead child
                         is a magic word.
                                              Did you know?
                          At any given moment, whether
                          busy or still... stop, and think or
                           say that name:
                              
                           Something will happen.
                           And whatever that something is,
                            let it happen... even if it be tears.

                            The name of your child is a magic
                             word to heal your heart.

                                                           ~Sascha Wagner      




MOM TREASURES YOUR MEMORIES March 16, 2011
 
MAY ST. PATRICK ALWAYS COMFORT YOU
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                         GOD BLESS YOU MY ANGEL


                                                         DEATH

                           Death is a lonely word.
                           Peace is a distant cry.
                           Hope bears the scar of grief.
                           Love is a life gone by.

                            Friend is a knowing touch.
                             Peace is a rising light.
                            Hope shines from memories
                             and stands against the night.

                                             ~Sascha Wagner

                                  HOLD ME

           I want to cry. Just sometimes, let me cry.
            Do not demand that constant smile from me.

             I know you are uneasy with my tears.
             I need to cry. Please, do not turn away.

             I promise you that I will smile again.
              Tomorrow I will be as light as air.

               But hold me now and let my sorrow be.
               just for today, this moment: Let me cry.

                                             ~Sascha Wagner     
MOM LOVES YOU VERY MUCH February 26, 2011
 
MOM TREASURES YOUR PRECIOUS MEMORIES
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                                         Valentine Message

I send this message to my child

Who no longer walks this plane,

A message filled with love

Yet also filled with pain.

My heart continues to skip a beat

When I ponder your early death

As I think of times we'll never share

I must stop to catch my breath.

Valentine's Day is for those who love

And for those who receive love, too

For a parent the perfect love in life

Is the love I've given you.

I'm thinking of you this day, my child,

With a sadness that is unspoken

As I mark another Valentine's Day

With a heart that is forever broken.

                                        ~Annette Mennen Baldwin

                                        TCF, Katy, TX

MOM TREASURES YOUR MEMORIES February 26, 2011
 
MAY YOUR LIGHT BURN ETERNALLY BRIGHT
                                



                    

             

                                   Tissues, Tears & Treasures

A circle of chairs and boxes of tissues,

A roomful of tears and emotional issues.

Frightening at first, I did not want to enter

Into this strange group, and be in the center.

What I soon learned, as we sat side by side,

We were bound by the love of our children who died.

Each shattered heart,

desperately seeking a moment of peace,

from the pain and weeping.

So many things different, and yet all the same,

Hearts lost in a fog of loss and pain.

Those who have journeyed, much further than me,

Reached out in comfort, listened quietly.

Each shattered heart spoke, and the tissues were passed,

We never avoid speaking of the past.

This circle of friends, have found a bond,

And here I'm still known

As “Tony's Mom.”

Slowly, I've found

I can reach out to others

Who are newly bereaved, fathers and mothers.

Strength I have found in this

Circle of chairs,

To grieve and to heal

And to show that we care.

Diane Barta

! TCF, Portland, OR

MOM MISSES YOU DEEPLY February 24, 2011
 
MY GIFT OF LOVE...MY SON PATRICK FOREVER
                     
                             
   FOREVER IN MY HEART, MIND             

      Below these heartfelt cries from one Mom to another Mom... a bereaved Mom  as myself, are my dreary steps along my new journey since that fated morning July 15, 2009 at 11:00 AM when I found my precious son Patrick's lifeless body, and there was not a thing I could have done to bring him back to me and see my hopes and dreams for my son Patrick coming to life as any other young man or woman who is in the middle of the fruits of life  or spare me from this horrible, unbearable, unthinkable pain called: A LOSS OF MY CHILD. I did not ask for this torturous pain the same way I can't understand or believe it, or make this pain go away... This is ME NOW... A LOSTMOM TO PATRICK BARBOSA... My new IDENTITY.
 
If anyone can grab this agonizing concept perhaps one can see a small picture of this HORRIBLE WORLD I AM LIVING NOW BECAUSE  I LOVE MY SON PATRICK MORE THAN MY LIFE... EVEN MY MIND CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE FEELING OR THE HOLE IN MY HEART, IN MY SOUL, SADLY ONLY MY HEART CAN UNDERSTAND AND FEEL THE PAIN, THE VOID, THE HOLE, THE LONELINESS, THE EMPTINESS... WHAT ELSE CAN I DO? I nee to feel GOD's comfort!!! WHERE ELSE CAN I GO? I need GOD to show me the WAY!!!
 

     How We Survive: Angel Darco Durbic's Mom

                                                                                                                                                           
                                             
     

I know that there are many different

forms of this out there however, I have added on to it to help others to imagine how we feel when we lose a child.  I know grief and the pain of losing anyone close is hard but this is to help others understand how it is for a parent who has lost their child.

 

 

 

I am going to do an exercise with you called….
If you could only imagine
 
You say it's time for me to "move on" in my grief.  Perhaps you're right or perhaps you just don't realize what you're asking.  So, I want you try this little exercise and maybe it will help you get a better perspective on what I am going through. 
To make this really hit home for you it should be practiced for at least 24 hours, the longer the better but we do not have that long so we will do it for a few minutes. This is kind of like blindfolding yourself to experience being without sight. I am doing this from a parents view point but if you do not have a child you can think of a loved one in your life.
So close your eyes think about your children or loved love. I want you to try to imagine the worst thing in the world, that your beloved child died. Whatever age or stage of development, whether they live with you or not, just imagine you won't ever see that child on earth again. let me explain to you the reality…try to imagine, if you can, never seeing your child again, never hearing their laugh, never hearing the sound of their voice, never smelling the scent you have come to recognize as your child.. never hearing them say "I love you"…nothing - just silence, emptiness.. now imagine never seeing your child's smile, never seeing him upset or happy, never watching him sleep…missing them so much that you are twisted up inside and the pain stays with you 24/7, you smell their pillow, their clothes, you look at their pictures and can only cry - what happened, why!?.. you have never felt longing like this in your life! longing to hear their voice, to see their face again,…and to know deep in your soul you cannot fix this. now imagine every single thing that used to give you joy and pleasure turns into hurt and despair overnight. not a gradual thing, but going from pleasure to hurt, from happiness to sadness, from peace to no peace, changing overnight. everything you loved now hurts like hell…
For example: music, I used to love music, it gave me pleasure, I didn’t realize how much music was a part of my life and how it is everywhere, now I cannot listen to it, it sears me like a red hot knife with the pain of losing my child, it cuts me wide open.. like the old song, the day the music died, that's me, and believe it or not, almost every song reminds me of the HUGE void in my life without my child, I am not unique in that pain - if you lost a child you would know. that is just one little example of how your life is affected by the loss of your child. Just ONE example!
The perfectly healthy young man...your son...have cancer…they say your child can't survive... he died. Now imagine calling all your family and friends to tell them your child died. Now you get a call to ask you where you want the body to go. Body you say that is my child however you can’t even wrap your mind around this it just can’t be real. 
Next, go to a funeral home and discuss caskets or cremation, markers, burial plots, etc. So many things to do you have to make it perfect and really should you be making these decisions so quickly are you in your right mind – Really? Pick out a favourite outfit for your child to be buried in and the flowers that lay at the alter. Sit down and write out the obituary for the newspaper and pick out the music to be played at their memorial. Get in the floor or closet of their room and cry until there are no more tears. Then repeat until you think you're losing your mind and your gut is wrenching.
If you made it through that part you are ready for the next step.
 
As good parents we were always able to fix things or make things better for our children.. this we cannot fix, we cannot make it better. so on top of everything else you are feeling, you also feel helpless..out of control and hopeless…and this is universal, every parent that truly loves their child will feel this. Are you starting to imagine now how it feels? Just think you are doing this exercise for a few minutes, imagine, really imagine, feeling this way 24/7 - day after day, month after month, and no matter what you are doing or who you are talking to, a tape of your child plays over and over in your mind. your child when he was a baby, a laughing happy little boy, a handsome young teen, a wonderful young man or women and it always plays in your head and you do not want to forget even a single second of your beautiful child's life…but that is a fear you have, that as time passes you will start to forget…so now, please add FEAR to the list of emotions. this is what it really feels like. a part of you has died, , FEEL this - died, gone forever… a real, beautiful, living part of you has died… and you are still living, left behind to try to pick up the pieces of your shattered life and not having a clue where to even begin. No wonder a high percentage of marriages break up, parents have breakdowns, turn to alcohol, drugs or a destructive way of life.
NO WONDER!!!!!
During all of this remember, the world hasn't stopped. If you have a job, you will have to return to it because it has been a week and that is all the time they give you for a loss of a child. The power company and everyone else still wants their payment each month. But you can barely get out of bed. So who care about bills don’t they know your child has died?
 
If you were blessed to have other children, you will have to deal with their grief as well as your own.  even with your other children, you still love your other children just as much as always, but as hard as it is, even they hurt you now, because when you see them you feel the LOSS, the loss of the child that died not being with their siblings. it doesn't fit, there is a piece missing, your whole life doesn't fit anymore. everything that felt right, now feels wrong and of course there is always the missing, the horrible gut wrenching, out of your control missing…
Next comes the "firsts". Holidays, Birthday, anniversary of death and at first this is every month, it is not just once a year but every month on the day they died. When everyone is singing tra-la-la and jingle bells, you won't be.  Your heart will be too heavy. The hurt will be so intense you will marvel that you can get out of bed each morning.  You'll see their friends going on with their lives and it will cut you to the quick. When they all graduate from, school, university, your child won't. When you start getting wedding or baby announcements in the mail for these other children, you'll be reminded again of your loss. Or will their friends even remember to include you or will they even still want to see you, or worse yet do they even remember your child? Do they still hurt from the loss?
Don't forget that when you go shopping you'll see things that you wanted to buy for your deceased child and many times you will still buy them anyway. You'll see places the two of you USED to go and sometimes sit in the parking lot and remember that special day. Sometimes you find yourself someplace you don’t even remember driving too. 
At home when you prepare that favourite meal of the child who is gone, it won't taste the same to you. The pictures, cards they made for you or sent you, toys and other possessions of your baby will be both harmful and helpful. They are a link to the past, a way to remember more about what you've lost and at the same time they are a link to the past and a way to remember more about what you've lost and what you will never have again.
 Funny, huh? That family portrait you were always so proud of?  Well, it will take on a whole new meaning now. A part of you does not exist anymore and it is scary as hell.. that is why they say the loss of a child is like no other loss.. you cannot compare it to another loss, with other losses you grieve and you are of course sad, but when your child dies, a part of you ceases to exist, gone just like that, gone no warning, just gone.
When a husband dies you are a widow, when a wife dies you’re a widower, when your parents die you are an orphan but when your child dies there are no words because it is too awful to imagine.  And the life that you knew, the things you always felt, the things in your life that made sense, that you held on to, that makes up who you are - are Gone!!!That is why when parents who have lost children hear "I want the old you back", "it's been a year (a month, 6 months-whatever), don't you feel better yet?" "You are doing this to yourself, you're making it harder on yourself", "grief can become a selfish thing you know", we can only shake our heads and feel sadness and hopelessness, because there is no way our lives will ever be like it was when our child was alive. No wonder bereaved parents isolate themselves, we are just trying to hold on.
 
Now open your eyes were you able to imagine what it must feel like? even for this amount of time it is too long to imagine the unimaginable, to feel the pain, I would not wish this on anyone, but did you get a sense of how life-changing it is? Imagine you feel this 24/7, not even getting a moments relief from it! Now go on and put on your favourite CD to listen to, enjoy the music..go home and hug your child or loved one, enjoy this moment because you can still listen to them laugh, watch them smile, smell the scent that you know is them but please do not tell me how I should feel or that I am holding onto this, or that my friends/family must be tired of watching me go through this, because if you haven't lost a beloved child of yours, you can’t understand and I would not want you too.
But when you hear these words "the presence of his absence is everywhere", will you finally understand?
Believe it or not I could write dozens of other things for you to imagine. Fortunately for you, this is only an exercise. I live this every day.
 Thanks for doing this with me I hope you never have to walk in my shoes and I hope that now maybe you will be able to better help a friend or loved one in their loss.

Thank you Angel Darko Durbic's Mom for this Genuine heartfelt Message to the World.

God Bless Us Bereaved Parents!

God Bless Our Precious Children/ Angels!
MOM MISSES YOU DEEPLY February 24, 2011
 
MAY GOD EMBRACE YOU WITH ETERNAL LIFE
                     
                     FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS


We little knew that morning, God was going to call your name
In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same
It broke our hearts to lose you, You did not go alone

For part of us went with you... the day God called you home
You left us beautiful memories, Your love is still our guide
And though we cannot see you, You are always at our side
Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same
But as God calls us one by one, our Family chain will link again

Author Unknown  

MOM MISSES YOU DEEPLY February 24, 2011
 
MAY JESUS BLESS YOU WITH HIS LOVE
                       



                                                          In Loving Memory

                                                     If tears could build a stairway,
                                                     And memories were a lane.
                                                     I would walk right up to heaven,
                                                     To bring you home again.

                                                 No farewell words were spoken,
                                                      No time to say good-bye.
                                                 You were gone before I knew it,
                                                      And only God knows why.

                                                My heart still aches in sadness,
                                                       And secret tears still flow.
                                                What it meant to lose you,
                                                       No one will ever know.

                                             You and angels around Gods happy throne.
                                             I would have held you closer if I had known

                                                                       ~Unknown Author~


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