How We Survive
If we are fortunate,
we are given a warning.
If not,
there is only the sudden horror,
the wrench of being torn apart;
of being reminded
that nothing is permanent,
not even the ones we love,
the ones our lives revolve around.
Life is a fragile affair.
We are all dancing
on the edge of a precipice,
a dizzying cliff so high
we can't see the bottom.
One by one,
we lose those we love most
into the dark ravine.
So we must cherish them
without reservation.
Now.
Today.
This minute.
We will lose them
or they will lose us
someday.
This is certain.
There is no time for bickering.
And their loss
will leave a great pit in our hearts;
a pit we struggle to avoid
during the day
and fall into at night.
Some,
unable to accept this loss,
unable to determine
the worth of life without them,
jump into that black pit
spiritually or physically,
hoping to find them there.
And some survive
the shock,
the denial,
the horror,
the bargaining,
the barren, empty aching,
the unanswered prayers,
the sleepless nights
when their breath is crushed
under the weight of silence
and all that it means.
Somehow, some survive all that and,
like a flower opening after a storm,
they slowly begin to remember
the one they lost
in a different way...
The laughter,
the irrepressible spirit,
the generous heart,
the way their smile made them feel,
the encouragement they gave
even as their own dreams were dying.
And in time, they fill the pit
with other memories
the only memories that really matter.
We will still cry.
We will always cry.
But with loving reflection
more than hopeless longing.
And that is how we survive.
That is how the story should end.
That is how they would want it to be.
Dear Gisele, Thank you so much for all the most beautiful graphics and candles for my baby Dana...as hard as life seems to be i no i dont walk alone and that gets me throught the next day...thank you for walkin with me....with much love cindi
FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS, ON OUR MINDS
My Angel Patrick Christian and Angel Selena Gomez,
my niece who was born sleeping on April 13, 1997...
Selena is the daughter of my sister Patricia
MY SLEEPING BABY GIRL SELENA
April 13, 1997 - April 13, 1997
For nearly nine months in my womb, I was joyfully
waiting for you to join my life.
Picking your beautiful name Selena the moment
I found out I was carrying a baby girl.
Getting my world ready to welcome my baby and shower her
with my love, my hopes and dreams a mother would want
for her child.
Following a healthy regime along my pregnancy for my
baby girl: From going to all my prenatal check-up to taking
my prenatal vitamin as prescribed, etc.
I had then your brother Alex, and I was so joyfully looking
forward to give you a big brother who could show you the
ropes of life as you steadily grow up into a beautiful
young lady.
But little did I knew you were slipping away quickly before
I even got to meet you, to hold you in my arms, and
cherish your precious life and fulfill our dreams as Mother
and Daughter.
One fated morning, after a visit from my doctor giving us
a clear check-up, I visited one of my sisters and her little
family. Proudly I let my family touched my belly where
my baby girl was growing very healthy per se by my
doctor with only a few weeks to welcome you in this world.
My brother-in-law asked me "How my baby is doing?" and
excitedly I answered that both Mother and Baby had passed
an excellent check-up while I added my next statement... But
...the baby has not moved for few days.
My sister quickly answered, " And you are here to talk
about it?" You should be at the emergency department!"
But never once had it crossed my mind my baby was
already sound asleep in the comfort of my womb with
no heartbeat, no life to cherish, no dreams to hope for...
After my visit with my family, I followed my sister's advice
and headed straight to the hospital where it was
confirmed my baby girl had stop breathing.
My beautiful baby girl Selena, it aches deep to relive
those horror moments that have scarred me for life.
All night at the hospital I was praying, hoping the doctors
were wrong and my baby girl is still alive but was just
resting quietly in mommy's womb.
The next day, as I faced again my nightmare and
wishing it would go away, as I laid on my hospital bed
with excruciating induced labors pains, with my fears
twisting my gut, my tears chocking me, my prayers
crowding my mind, my heartaches engulfing my soul
entangled with intermittent numbness and shocks as
if a horror movie was playing right in front me,
reality sank in and pierced my heart like a speeding
bullet with this unthinkable and unbearable true,
when my baby girl came into this world sleeping,
because she had joined God's Garden Of Little Angels
before the earth's aches and pains and sins touched
her pure soul.
In my womb I had learned to love you so easily,
in my life I continue to love you until one day
I will joyfully get to hold my baby girl Selena
finally in my arms and never let you go, for life
in Heaven is Eternal.
But I will always miss my sleeping baby girl Selena
and wish she was here with me because Mommy loves
her beautiful daughter Selena so very much.
In Loving Memory of My Niece Selena Gomez... LostMom to Patrick Barbosa
When I have no one to turn to
And I am feeling kind of low,
When there is no one to talk to
And nowhere I want to go,
I search deep within myself
It is the love inside my heart
That lets me know my Angels are there
Even though we are miles apart.
A smile then appears upon my face
And the sun begins to shine.
I hear a voice, so soft and sweet
Saying, 'Everything will be just fine'
It may seem that I am alone
But I am never by myself at all.
Whenever I need my Angels near
All I have to do is call.
An Angel's love is always true
On that you can depend.
They will always stand behind you
And will always be your friend.
Through darkest hours and brightest days
Our Angel's see us through
They smile when we are happy, and will cry when we are blue..
Thanks for being my Angel my friend
I will be there for you until the end.
