MY PRECIOUS SON... MY STAR... MY ANGEL... MY BUTTERFLY I LOVE YOU.
MY PRECIOUS SON, I LOVE YOU... I MISS YOU DEEPLY
FOREVER LOVED, REMEMBERED!
MY STAR... MY GUARDIAN ANGEL PATRICK
YOUR PRECIOUS MEMORIES WILL LIVE IN MY HEART AND SOUL FOREVER!
LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT MY WONDERFUL SON... ANGEL
SON, YOU LEFT ME BEHIND WITH A HOLE IN MY HEART AND SOUL
THAT CAN NEVER BE FILLED UNTIL WE MEET IN HEAVEN.
BE AT PEACE, IN GLORY, AND HAPPY WITH GOD, JESUS, AND BLESSED MOTHER.
Mom
January 13, 2010
PRECIOUS SON
My son, Patrick
Just the thought in knowing my loss is real, aches Just the thought in knowing I have only your memories to continue my lonesome journey, tortures me. Just the thought of the dusk coming down, distresses me. Since your passing, darkness means another night without you.
Just the thought of leaving you behind at the cemetery and driving home alone, agonizes me. A mother should never bury her child. Just the thought of coming home from the cemetery and seeing your red car in the driveway, and you are not home, frightens me.
But, your pictures that are in every corner of the house, on my necklace, my key chain, in my car, and this unique picture of you that I carry with me and sleep with it, remind me that you are alive and safe in my heart. Because Mom, will always keep you and your memories alive, until you and God come for me.
Just the thought in knowing you are an angel in Heaven, soothes me. Perhaps one great thought will overcome all the bad ones. With God grace, I will continue my journey of grief with hope.
With you by my side, in my dreams, I will continue to pray for peace and healing. But only, if I can feel, you are happy and in peace. With God, Jesus, and Blessed Mother guarding my Patrick in Heaven, duskiness in my heart will fade. Because you know I love you so much, and I know I miss you more than I can understand.
GISELE G BARBOSA
Dedicated to my son, Patrick
MY SHATTERED LIFE
Where does a mother go when her loss is greater than life Where does a mother go when her agony is more than she can handle What a mother can do when her painful memories, images of her loss, are her worst shadows What a mother can do when her tearful face is her saddest reflection
What a mother should do when life's insensitivity and unfairness is choking her How a broken- hearted mother can carry her cross, her burden How a mother can live with this unbearable, unthinkable loss How can I get through this torturous, helpless journey You tell me, Son... God, You make me understand my inconsolable, lonely world Because I miss my son so dearly... I am all broken in pieces from severe depression, anguish I am a Martyr of a horrid loss of my beloved son, Patrick... a price of being a mother.
GISELE G BARBOSA
To my Loving Son, Patrick
TWIST OF FATE
Patrick, you came into my world like a butterfly You cuddled into my life with love, joy, respect, and wisdom In one twisted moment of fate, denial and pain crept in my soul As you move far away in the Garden of Eden as a fallen angel Eternal life belongs to you now with Jesus But you are never too far from my heart and soul As our mother-son bond continues beyond Universe Because a true love of a mother goes beyond life
Your sweet and young life was shorten before you were ready My life faded as dreams and fantasy filled in the empty space Along my dreadful journey of a once promising land of hopes Tears and sorrows settled in a new land of broken dreams and hopes Life is changed drastically as never before thought Wearily in my grief, I became a lost mother Who is to blame for? What's a future hold for a lost mother?
Gisele G Barbosa
Dedicated to my beloved son, Patrick
Mom
January 13, 2010
PRECIOUS SON
PATRICK, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME
I know death is for everyone on this Earth I know life is also temporary on this Earth I know life can be a short mystery and destiny is uncertain But, do our birth day really intertwine with our death day Should a mother experience that twisted and painful connection
Patrick, why did you leave me My son, you were in the beginning of the fruits of your life My son, why do only good people have to go so soon Patrick, why the world is so unfair
The sun was bright, the weather was hot outside, on a typical morning on July 15, 2009 Inside a family home, the time was changed into an unforgettable day The bright morning was shifted into darkness The worst imaginable pain landed into my heart forever My lifeline was changed brusquely
Patrick, why did you leave me My son, you were in the beginning of the fruits of your life My son, why do only good people have to go so soon Patrick, why the world is so unfair
You have three other children to live for I know a mother who lost two daughters and her mother the same day Another mother lost two children eight days apart Another mother practically witnessed her son's murder with his screams Your son passed away in his sleep on his own bed Don't challenge God... He is our creator Don't be angry at God or anyone else... it's his fate There are worst deaths... from wars, fires, or floods Some people are killed by terrorists or predators Others are swept away by the ocean with no bodies... You have a closure Are you kidding me? There will be no closure to my grief for loosing my son, Patrick
I am smothered with comments piercing my heartache, my helpless mind
Put away his pictures, it will only hurt you Don't weep, it will hurt him Don't weep, your tears will drench him Don't cry, he is in a better place Are you still crying for your loss You will get over your loss in a year... life goes on You are not the only one who has lost a child I don't wish to be on your shoes If you will not take your medications, I will not feel sorry for you My life is changed unexpectedly and traumatically My heart is shattered into pieces Should a lost mother understand these philosophies, mystic, or thoughtless comments.
Patrick, why did you leave me My son, you were in the beginning of the fruits of your life My son, why do only good people have to go so soon Patrick, why the world is so unfair
The world was not built in one day Rome was not built in a day There is no moral or expected time for grieving There is no boundary in grieving Each individual comes with his flaws or righteousness Everyone reaches his fate differently Each mother, grieves a loss of a child in her own way and pain I have lost my love, my precious son My laughter, smile, and jokes have joined my heartache My endless road of sorrow will rekindle my yearning hope with the grace of God not human being crushing words
Patrick, why did you leave me My son, you were in the beginning of the fruits of your life My son, why do only good people have to go so soon Patrick, why the world is so unfair
GISELE G BARBOSA
Dedicated to my son, Patrick
MY ANGEL SON
You are now under the love of God in Heaven Your wings of kindness, sweetness are spreading over His Holy home among the other Angels and Saints Jesus and Blessed Mother have a great idea for their New angel, they have called home Your mother's tears along her tormented journey of grief Will be uplifted by the love of God when the time comes
Please, Son, don't disturb your eternal and joyful resting Place with your mother's tears, sadness, or pain I am just missing my loving son so much, and I am Longing for your presence. The puzzle of my life is broken but my love for you is Always safe in my heart A mother and child bond never dies This is an equation of a motherly love... Your mother.
Gisele G Barbosa
Dedicated to my loving son, Patrick
THE PRICE OF LOVE
My beautiful baby boy, Patrick was born I was filled with happiness and grace Along the milestones, dreams and hopes filled my heart... My thoughts for my son and his three brothers Then, Boom! For a second, Patrick's life was shortened. All my hopes and dreams for my son were ceased And I was left with only short memories... And no more pictures of my son to look for For God had called him home and a big part of me went with my son Since then, I wake up with my anger, my disbelief, and great sorrow And through the day, I feel powerless with my anger, my disbelief, great sorrow With my restless nights, I go to bed holding my anger, my disbelief, great sorrow After my body is too drained and numb to feel anything. Since I lost my son, my torturous feelings are my companions into my journey.
Though my pain, sorrow, and sad tears are from losing my son My joy is masking my pain and agony and pretending to live in this world to fit in. A world who can never understand my loss... My agony. My son is now in heaven where they say there is no pain, no anger, sorrow While I am here on earth full of pain, anger, sorrow, and my sad tears With the deepest grief my weak body, my broken heart and soul can not handle Why me? Why my son, a beautiful heart? When there are evil people, killers, rapists destroying this earth.
About four months ago, I had my four sons And today, I still have my four sons For Patrick still lives in my heart and mind His presence still remains in our home As I have his last pictures scattered in every corner of our home
As I know that grief is the greatest pain in our life I also do know now without any doubt the pain of grief I am feeling Is the price of being a mother and loving my son so much I also know I am not afraid of death, the one thing I was so fearful for my sons, Will take me to my son who had never left me For he was always living safe in my heart and mind Until then, I will look for your visits in my dreams That make me feel alive and happy Until I wake up and begin all over my worst journey... My dreadful life.
GISELE G BARBOSA
Dedicated to my loving son, Patrick
Mom
January 5, 2010
MISSING YOU DEEPLY
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE LOVED, REMEMBERED, CHERISHED, AND MISSED FOREVER.
SON, WHY DO ONLY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE? COME INTO MY DREAMS AND ANSWER MY QUESTION. I MISS YOU.
MAY THE BLESSED MOTHER KEEP OUR BOND ETERNALLY STRONG AND POWERFUL!
Mom
January 4, 2010
I MISS YOU, SON
SON, MAY YOUR NEW WORLD BE ALWAYS FILLED WITH HAPPINESS, PEACE, AND GLORY ETERNALLY! WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH...WE MISS YOU DEEPLY
MAY YOUR WINGS SPREAD GENTLY, GLORIOUSLY OVER YOUR BROTHERS!
LOVING YOU IMMENSELY... MISSING YOU DEEPLY
LOVE NEVER CEASES... BUT GROWS...
I MISS YOUR ANGELIC LIFE... YOUR ANGELIC MEMORIES WILL LIVE On FOREVER! MAY YOUR HEAVENLY LIGHT ALWAYS SHINE!
PLEASE LIGHT A CANDLE FOR MY SON... It MEANS A LOT TO HIS SOUL AND ALSO TO MY BROKEN HEART AND SHATTERED SOUL. THANK YOU.