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PRECIOUS SON

                                       
                                     

            
              

                                   


 I MISS MY PRECIOUS ANGEL. COME INTO MY DREAMS

                                     
                                

  MY PRECIOUS SON... MY STAR... MY ANGEL... MY BUTTERFLY I LOVE YOU.

                         


                                   

    MY PRECIOUS SON, I LOVE YOU... I MISS YOU DEEPLY

                       

                                            
                 

                             

                                                  
                                              
                       FOREVER LOVED, REMEMBERED!

                                

        MY STAR... MY GUARDIAN ANGEL PATRICK                       

                                                                   

                               
                    

  YOUR PRECIOUS MEMORIES WILL LIVE IN MY HEART AND SOUL FOREVER!

                                     


           



                      

          
                                                       

         
                                       
                             


                       LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT MY WONDERFUL SON... ANGEL


                                                  

                    SON, YOU LEFT ME BEHIND WITH A HOLE IN MY HEART AND SOUL
                    THAT CAN NEVER BE FILLED UNTIL WE MEET IN HEAVEN.
                    BE AT PEACE, IN GLORY, AND HAPPY WITH GOD, JESUS, AND BLESSED MOTHER.


                       

                                 

                                          

                                 

                                 

               
                         

                                    



                               


                                                              
                   

             
                       

                              

            

                                                           

Mom January 13, 2010
 
PRECIOUS SON
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                                My son, Patrick


 Just the thought in knowing my loss is real, aches
 Just the thought in knowing I have only your memories to continue my lonesome journey, tortures me.
Just the thought of the dusk coming down, distresses me.
Since your passing, darkness means another night without you.

Just the thought of leaving you behind at the cemetery and driving home alone, agonizes me.
A mother should never bury her child.
Just the thought of coming home from the cemetery and seeing your red car in the driveway, and you are not home, frightens me.

But, your pictures that are in every corner of the house, on my necklace, my key chain, in my car, and this unique picture of you that I carry with me and sleep with it, remind me that you are alive and safe in my heart.
Because Mom, will always keep you and your memories alive, until you and God come for me.

Just the thought in knowing you are an angel in Heaven, soothes me.
Perhaps one great thought will overcome all the bad ones.
With God grace, I will continue my journey of grief with hope.

With you by my side, in my dreams, I will continue to pray for peace and healing.
But only, if I can feel, you are happy and in peace.
With God, Jesus, and Blessed Mother guarding my Patrick in Heaven, duskiness in my heart will fade.
Because you know I love you so much, and I know I miss you more than I can understand.

                                                                                            GISELE G BARBOSA

Dedicated to my son, Patrick





                  
                                    MY SHATTERED LIFE

Where does a mother go when her loss is greater than life
Where does a mother go when her agony is more than she can handle
What a mother can do when her painful memories, images of her loss, are her worst shadows
What a mother can do when her tearful face is her saddest reflection

What a mother should do when life's insensitivity and unfairness is choking her
How a broken- hearted mother can carry her cross, her burden
How a mother can live with this unbearable, unthinkable loss
How can I get through this torturous, helpless journey
You tell me, Son... God, You make me understand my inconsolable, lonely world
Because I miss my son so dearly... I am all broken in pieces from severe depression, anguish
I am a Martyr of a horrid loss of my beloved son, Patrick... a price of  being a mother.


                                                                GISELE G BARBOSA

To my Loving Son, Patrick





                           TWIST OF  FATE    


  Patrick, you came into my world like a butterfly
You cuddled into my life with love, joy, respect, and wisdom
In one twisted moment of fate, denial and pain crept in my soul
As you move far away in the Garden of Eden as a fallen angel
Eternal life belongs to you now with Jesus
But you are never too far from my heart and soul
As our mother-son bond continues beyond Universe
Because a true love of a mother goes beyond life

Your sweet and young life was shorten before you were ready
My life faded as dreams and fantasy filled in the empty space
Along my dreadful journey of a once promising land of hopes
Tears and sorrows settled in a new land of broken dreams and hopes
Life is changed drastically as never before thought
Wearily in my grief, I became a lost mother
Who is to blame for?
What's a future hold for a lost mother?


                                          Gisele G Barbosa


Dedicated to my beloved son, Patrick

      

Mom January 13, 2010
 
PRECIOUS SON
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              PATRICK, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME


I know death is for everyone on this Earth
I know life is also temporary on this Earth
I know life can be a short mystery and destiny is uncertain
But, do our birth day really intertwine with our death day
Should a mother experience that twisted and painful connection

Patrick, why did you leave me
My son, you were in the beginning of the fruits of your life
My son, why do only good people have to go so soon
Patrick, why the world is so unfair

The sun was bright, the weather was hot outside, on a typical morning on July 15, 2009
Inside a family home, the time was changed into an unforgettable day
The bright morning was shifted into darkness
The worst imaginable pain landed into my heart forever
My lifeline was changed brusquely

Patrick, why did you leave me
My son, you were in the beginning of the fruits of your life
My son, why do only good people have to go so soon
Patrick, why the world is so unfair

You have three other children to live for
I know a mother who lost two daughters and her mother the same day
Another mother lost two children eight days apart
Another mother practically witnessed her son's murder with his screams
Your son passed away in his sleep on his own bed
Don't challenge God... He is our creator
Don't be angry at God or anyone else... it's his fate
There are worst deaths... from wars, fires, or floods
Some people are killed by terrorists or predators
Others are swept away by the ocean with no bodies... You have a closure
Are you kidding me? There will be no closure to my grief for loosing my son, Patrick

I am smothered with comments piercing my heartache, my helpless mind


Put away his pictures, it will only hurt you
Don't weep, it will hurt him
Don't weep, your tears will drench him
Don't cry, he is in a better place
Are you still crying for your loss
You will get over your loss in a year... life goes on
You are not the only one who has lost a child
I don't wish to be on your shoes
If you will not take your medications, I will not feel sorry for you
My life is changed unexpectedly and traumatically
My heart is shattered into pieces
Should a lost mother understand these philosophies, mystic, or thoughtless comments.

Patrick, why did you leave me
My son, you were in the beginning of the fruits of your life
My son, why do only good people have to go so soon
Patrick, why the world is so unfair

The world was not built in one day
Rome was not built in a day
There is no moral or expected time for grieving
There is no boundary in grieving
Each individual comes with his flaws or righteousness
Everyone reaches his fate differently
Each mother, grieves a loss of a child in her own way and pain
I have lost my love, my precious son
My laughter, smile, and jokes have joined my heartache
My endless road of sorrow will rekindle my yearning hope with the grace of God not human being crushing words

Patrick, why did you leave me
My son, you were in the beginning of the fruits of your life
My son, why do only good people have to go so soon
Patrick, why the world is so unfair

GISELE G BARBOSA

Dedicated to my son, Patrick




                
                                      MY ANGEL SON

You are now under the love of God in Heaven
Your wings of kindness, sweetness are spreading over
His Holy home among the other Angels and Saints
Jesus and Blessed Mother have a great idea for their
New angel, they have called home
Your mother's tears along her tormented journey of grief
Will be uplifted by the love of God when the time comes

Please, Son, don't disturb your eternal and joyful resting
Place with your mother's tears, sadness, or pain
I am just missing my loving son so much, and I am
Longing for your presence.
The puzzle of my life is broken but my love for you is
Always safe in my heart
A mother and child bond never dies
This is an equation of a motherly love... Your mother.

Gisele G Barbosa

Dedicated to my loving son, Patrick





                                    THE PRICE OF LOVE

My beautiful baby boy, Patrick was born
I was filled with happiness and grace
Along the milestones, dreams and hopes filled my heart...
My thoughts for my son and his three brothers
Then, Boom! For a second, Patrick's life was shortened.
All my hopes and dreams for my son were ceased
And I was left with only short memories...
And no more pictures of my son to look for
For God had called him home and a big part of me went with my son
Since then, I wake up with my anger, my disbelief, and great sorrow
And through the day, I feel powerless with my anger, my disbelief, great sorrow
With my restless nights, I go to bed holding my anger, my disbelief, great sorrow
After my body is too drained and numb to feel anything.
Since I lost my son, my torturous feelings are my companions into my journey.

Though my pain, sorrow, and sad tears are from losing my son
My joy is masking my pain and agony and pretending to live in this world to fit in.
A world who can never understand my loss... My agony.
My son is now in heaven where they say there is no pain, no anger, sorrow
While I am here on earth full of pain, anger, sorrow, and my sad tears
With the deepest grief my weak body, my broken heart and soul can not handle
Why me? Why my son, a beautiful heart?
When there are evil people, killers, rapists destroying this earth.

About four months ago, I had my four sons
And today, I still have my four sons
For Patrick still lives in my heart and mind
His presence still remains in our home
As I have his last pictures scattered in every corner of our home

As I know that grief is the greatest pain in our life
I also do know now without any doubt the pain of grief I am feeling
Is the price of being a mother and loving my son so much
I also know I am not afraid of death, the one thing I was so fearful for my sons,
Will take me to my son who had never left me
For he was always living safe in my heart and mind
Until then, I will look for your visits in my dreams
That make me feel alive and happy
Until I wake up and begin all over my worst journey... My dreadful life.


GISELE G BARBOSA

Dedicated to my loving son, Patrick





             
Mom January 5, 2010
 
MISSING YOU DEEPLY
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YOU WILL ALWAYS BE LOVED, REMEMBERED, CHERISHED, AND MISSED FOREVER.



SON, WHY DO ONLY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?
COME INTO MY DREAMS AND ANSWER MY QUESTION. I MISS YOU.




MAY THE BLESSED MOTHER KEEP OUR BOND ETERNALLY STRONG AND POWERFUL!
Mom January 4, 2010
 
I MISS YOU, SON
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SON, MAY YOUR NEW WORLD BE ALWAYS FILLED WITH HAPPINESS, PEACE,
AND GLORY ETERNALLY! WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH...WE MISS YOU DEEPLY



MAY YOUR WINGS SPREAD GENTLY, GLORIOUSLY OVER YOUR BROTHERS!



LOVING YOU IMMENSELY... MISSING YOU DEEPLY



LOVE NEVER CEASES... BUT GROWS...



I MISS YOUR ANGELIC LIFE... YOUR ANGELIC MEMORIES WILL LIVE On FOREVER!
MAY YOUR HEAVENLY LIGHT ALWAYS SHINE!



    PLEASE LIGHT A CANDLE FOR MY SON... It MEANS A LOT TO HIS SOUL
    AND ALSO TO MY BROKEN HEART AND SHATTERED SOUL. THANK YOU.

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